That Girl

 On Wednesday I flew to San Francisco for just a day.  My oldest and dearest friend, Heather, was transferred from Seattle to San Fran. They ran tests on her to qualify her for a lung transplant. It was determined that she was too sick to get a transplant. The irony. She went from not sick enough to too sick in 10 days. I needed to see her. Sit with her two children who are the exact same age as my daughters. I was that age when my mom died. She was put on palliative care which basically means, pain meds to the hilt, anxiety medication to the limits and anti hallucinogens so she could pass peacefully and not trying to take oxygen in through what amounted to be about the size of a straw.  The hospital paid for hotels and expenses for those of us who went to say goodbye. She passed not long after I saw her. She wasn’t awake. We brushed her hair. She rocked white hair too. Long and curly. Her bright green eyes closed as if she were sleeping peacefully.  She was beautifu...

 1) what is your favorite color? My favorite color is something that changes. I’m not the kind of person that has always loved blue. My current favorite color is a weird one… Brown. I don’t know what the deal is but I’m obsessed.  2) where are you going to in Colorado and where will you be staying? IE hotel, cabin, Airbnb, etc.. We will be in Denver.Hotel. We were going to stay where we stayed before but because I’m pissy occasionally, I refused to pay nearly $100 for parking everyday for a week. No, Ma’am! What the actual fuck? So I checked out their sister property, same 4.5 star rating, restaurant on property, coffee bar etc… I LOVE the little stores too! Anyway, this one has an indoor pool too but it’s so fucking cool. Plus they have really cool other features that I’m not going to get into or why the pool is so good because I know you little creepers will go on a stalking expedition! Just trust, it’s good and the parking… omg. I can’t handle the parking.. $66 per night. L...

 Four months ago I scraped my foot on the concrete bench in the pool. You’ll remember me whining about it. My blood sugar has been medically “ uncontrolled” for a while now. That makes my A1C very high. ( A1C is a look at the previous three months to get a picture of how you’re doing) mine is bad. As it turns out, I’m resistant to insulin. My body can’t or won’t absorb it. Life is fun isn’t it? So my endocrinologist will have to come up with a plan. In the meantime.. I stood up last night at about 2am. I immediately went down. Face first into the carpet, I took a wee bit of a nap. My son and husband scraped me up and when I could I went into the bathroom to check out my face. I bit the inside of my mouth. Two lightly bruised eyes. Then, I caught my foot out of the side of my eye and saw it. Where I’d scraped my foot, it was black. The skin was black. Diabetes is dangerous for feet. I felt the terror rush through my body. My limbs felt like they were burning from the insides. Cheryl...

 Anniversaries are things. Next week will be our 33 yr anniversary and we only dated for four months before getting married. We thought that we’d just get to know each other more while married, I guess! I was still coming off of my grippy sock vacation at THE RANCH. Twenty eight day all inclusive stay including drugs to soften your landing, with strangers who quickly become close friends. For a season and a reason.  Like the Breakfast club. The drug dealer - very nice  The mama - older woman  The youngster- became my little sister… she was 19 The princess- me. Counselor’s favorite pet patient  All feeling familiar in their own ways.  All so tired of this fucking shit show. Well, that earned me another grippy sock vacation, all inclusive 28 day stay with absolutely no drugs. Also a hospital to manage my withdrawals from the drugs the ranch handed out. A whole other breakfast club The older man- followed me like a puppy… seriously… eventually he got his jaw s...

 I haven’t died. 💀😎🖤

 I’ve been so sick, like grim reaper massaging my shoulders, sick…. Ok, that part about the grim reaper is a lie…. I think. Let’s start on Friday…… I had an 8:30am doctors appointment. Josh went with us because he heard us mentioning getting breakfast.  Ok, first the doctor… Female, probably in her early 30’s. Gives me a bad vibe. I can’t put my finger on why though. There’s just something off… They didn’t take my medical history but I did sign three pages telling me what’s gonna happen to me if I miss an appointment. Ouch. She wasn’t going to take blood… We are establishing me as a new patient with pre-existing conditions. You’d get a baseline. Nope. So I asked her to. I got a few tests but not a complete blood work up. There is Christian art and Knickknacks EVERYWHERE. That automatically makes me feel uncomfortable. Nobody needs their doctor judging them or refusing treatment that they don’t agree with. The woman who took my blood… The loveliest black woman, close to my age,...