That Girl

 Let’s do Q&A since they are piling up… 1) I live in Spokane and my step dad lost some property in the fires. Fire scares me! Are your friends or family ok? Scares me too!!! I’m so sorry about your stepdad’s loss. I own property in Spokane County, got it from my dad. My stepsister called to tell me that we’re all good. She has a home on the property next to me and her mom, my dad’s wife, has property next to mine too, that was my dad’s house. I can’t imaging moving onto it, I mean like… Just don’t want to live in Washington again, it would feel like a step backwards, It took a lot to leave and be free, I know, weird… Anyway!!!! Regardless, I’d be heartbroken if it burned. My dad was so proud to have that land that they could leave to me, my stepsister and one stepbrother. One stepbrother got like a buck and my brother did too. Which, for both of them, was a good call! I think he wanted like a compound and as much as I actually do like my step siblings that sounds like a nightma...

First…..  How are my Spokane friends? I’m worried about you. The fires are all over the national news. My kid’s friend lost his pet because of the fires, the smoke killed it. We had two huge fires in the area I grew up in and I remember how terrifying it was. Please let me know how you are, please!  I wrote the next part yesterday. Why doesn’t a boy tell me anything when I open up most of my life? A grandchild on the way? My heart stopped. If I’m honest, when I’d heard that you’d had your first child my heart stopped too. What is it? The “could have been” the “what if,” the “if only”….grabs ahold of my heart. There is a love he has not felt. You think you love a woman, then you look into your children’s eyes and think that that is the peak of love. That that has opened your heart in ways one thought wasn’t possible. That their heart could not expand any further. Then, you look down into the eyes of a grandchild and the love almost hurts. This child is part of you. The thought ...

 Went swimming, obviously, then floated around for a few minutes on our hammock floaty thing, then swam, then had to get the hell out after 2 hrs because it was only 111 degrees and I literally felt my skin sizzle…. So I didn’t run up bleachers, I didn’t high jump, I didn’t fight anyone up here in these streets, just swimmy, float, swimmy, get the fuck out. I’m walking up the stairs that lead out of the pool and suddenly I can’t walk on my left foot. Hmmm, that’s weird, take a step, pain shoots up through my ankle to my calf…. That was yesterday. Can I walk on it now? No. Also my left pointer finger is swollen and bruised…( no, that’s not where nail girl cut me) just… can’t move it. Same type of pain though. How in the hell did I get injured to the point of being unable to put pressure on my ankle or type with my left hand? Is that the age I am now? Oh shit! I coughed and my back blew out, old?  Uh oh! I sneezed and broke my collarbone! I have some tea! Wanna hear it? Ok, cool...

 Hey. So let’s jump right into what I’m so excited about!!! I’ve made the first of my own line of shirts!!!! I have spent like 50 hours trying to learn all about design and drop shipping and yesterday my brain broke. I was trying to put quotation marks around a saying and I could not remember how. Like…. I WRITE…. And my brain was in neutral. Just buzzing while stuck on upload. Could not figure it out. I knew then it was time to call it a day. My first shirt is definitely NOT my darker line coming out but I also have an inspirational section and also a funny section but I spent all the hours on this shirt thinking it would be the least difficult…. My God, if that’s true my brain is gonna fall out of my ears. I’ve also made my own marking to start placing on my shirts, they are all being copyrighted so my little marking will help with that, like a water mark kind of thing but more like a what a wax stamp looks like…. If I can perfect that. I’m feeling too old to be learning this!! I...

 Hey everyone! A few things to talk about… 1) my Mi-ya….. has a brain tumor right between her eyes. It’s causing her headaches and vision issues and I mean, brain tumor! They’re hoping that it’s some kind of tumor that isn’t cancer and is usually found right there. She’s scared. I’m scared. We’re all scared. So, whatever you do, thoughts, prayers, intentions or candle lighting…Whatever, please do. 2)I’ve fallen down this rabbit hole of watching this YouTube Channel called Love Luxury and now my brain thinks that I can’t live without a Hermes Kelly Bag, gorgeous girlie, and the Women’s Rolex Datejust Blue Diamond Dial Watch… I mean, she’s a pretty girl! I’ll give you my address if you’re interested.  3)I finally, after two years, put my copper penny art on Etsy. I’m so fucking excited!!! I LOVE these. They take forever to make, not two years, but a couple of weeks, but you just zone out putting Pennies down, put my music on. Flow on, baby!  4) I’m so tan that I’m changing ...

I have something that I’m going to write about. It’s a tough health concern about my Mi-ya. I’m processing so come back for that….. I know it sucks to post that but my tism or anxiety makes me need to get it off my chest.  My anxiety is a panic attack storm right now but much of it is because I’m working soooo hard on buying, making, photographing items and designing my shop. It’s a good feeling but my body can’t tell the difference between THIS IS SO FUCKING COOL AND FUN!!!! And IM SITTING IM A CANOE BEING ATTACKED BY SHARKS!!!  But, add in my lovely girl’s health scare. It’s deeply disturbing.  Also, weirdness, I’m having nightmares every night. I even had a night terror and I haven’t had one of those for a long time. In my dreams, my brother is hunting me down, horrific weapons, to kill me. It’s very weird and very unusual. Like, where would this come from?! I even take medication to stop that from happening!  But! I’m designing t-shirts!!! I can’t put them on ins...