I’m this old….

 Went swimming, obviously, then floated around for a few minutes on our hammock floaty thing, then swam, then had to get the hell out after 2 hrs because it was only 111 degrees and I literally felt my skin sizzle….

So I didn’t run up bleachers, I didn’t high jump, I didn’t fight anyone up here in these streets, just swimmy, float, swimmy, get the fuck out. I’m walking up the stairs that lead out of the pool and suddenly I can’t walk on my left foot. Hmmm, that’s weird, take a step, pain shoots up through my ankle to my calf…. That was yesterday. Can I walk on it now? No. Also my left pointer finger is swollen and bruised…( no, that’s not where nail girl cut me) just… can’t move it. Same type of pain though. How in the hell did I get injured to the point of being unable to put pressure on my ankle or type with my left hand? Is that the age I am now? Oh shit! I coughed and my back blew out, old?  Uh oh! I sneezed and broke my collarbone!

I have some tea! Wanna hear it? Ok, cool, so Robb’s daughter is 18 yrs old and her mother said something so crazy wrong to her that it conjured up 14 year old abused Tracy when I heard it. Like my brain went into fight mode. So wrong! So terrible… so Robb calls his ex-wife, asks her if she’s fucking lost the plot, are you fucking mental?! Are you fucking stupid or just an evil twat?!

Let’s take a break for some background…..

Robb and his wife were married( duh) and lived in a house that Robb bought with the help from the military because he was shot twice, once in the head, one in his chest, during the IRA war… Northern Ireland V every other fucker within range…. His wife began having an affair. He moved out of his house and she moved in the guy, happens to be a wee little man and a ginger, you know, gingers are supposed to be bad luck, well turns out that was true for Robb. They still live in his fucking house 11 years later! Ok, no love lost there…

Back to the story, ginger takes the phone, tells Robb not to speak to his fiancé that way and Robb crashed out. You mother fucker this, my fucking wife , that’s my house! And then he said the magic words….. “I’m going to come and put a bullet between your eyes” uh oh.

Backstory break… Robb was a drug dealer, he was the person the mob used to, uh, relocate people, he was a big guy, he robbed a bank with a sawed off shotgun….see where we’re heading? That’s four years prison time and a never ending probation… he was once wanted for murder… he didn’t do it, so he says 😉 no, seriously though, he didn’t do it…

So back to the story, that wimpy Ginger CALLED THE COPS!! Uh oh! 

They come to his house down by the sea, from freaking Manchester, and give him a little rap in the knuckles. Like, We can take you to prison right now, you bad boy! No more threats! But then…. Today the CID… kinda like the FBI… Come to his house and demand a blood sample! Like, wtf?! He told them that because he’s been in prison that they have his blood. They won’t take no for an answer so he’s just says “ fuck straight off!” Which they did. Just wanted to rattle his cage….

Are you thinking to yourself right now “ Well, shit, my day wasn’t actually that bad.” 😂😂😂😂 

He got me so riled up I had a panic attack. 💀

And that’s life with my English besty…. The vicar!!! 

Ok…. I’ve had some emails about my shirts and I just can’t thank you enough for your kind words. I have MANY more coming… I just also have bespoke jewelry pieces I’m working on. If you like my shirts, let me know!!!

Song: WAYYYYYY BACK!! Hello By Lionel Ritchie


Love and moon beams,

Me

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