It’s 1:am

 Got my blood tests back and they show an issue with my kidneys… BUT. With the other issues I have going in that could be why so I’ll be tested again in a couple of weeks. 

I don’t think I’m going to be able to have my surgery between that and the fact that my blood sugar has been way off the charts because I was on steroids for over a month and that kicks your blood sugar’s ass for weeks after going off. Between that and the kidneys I think they’ll drop it. It’s been so so complicated that I’m choosing to look at it like fate… maybe there’s a reason that this keeps getting messed up. But, I’m in so much pain…. Ugh. Just let it be. I can’t control any of it. 


How was your thanksgiving? Ours was good and it gets easier every year. I bought tickets to the World Springs and we’re going mid- December. Going when it’s cold will suit me much better than in August when sitting in the cold plunge actually feels good. Like, ya, I can’t control any sit here all day! Which is what we did once at Disney land. It was a record breaking heat so we’d tuck into Small Wold or Pirates etc… if it was cold, that’s where you’d find us!!

It’s funny, I am not a heat person yet will not use the pool until it’s 100 degrees. My brain is interesting.


I’ve been so busy making jewelry. I’ve sold jewelry here to sooooo many people!!! I got a little plaque made with two QR codes, one for Etsy and one for IG and it’s on the front desk in our community center. So, I’ve gotten dozens and dozens of requests for bespoke pieces or one from my store and then I make another just like it to keep up the listing. I’ve probably sold… 175 pieces? At an average of $60-$100 so, that’s super fun!!! The “bad” part is it doesn’t show on my store or my ratings. But if I have the piece here it’s stupid to have them get online to buy it and then pay the $10 to mail it right back to here. 


Anyway, that whole thing was super boring. My bad!!

Have to go. Look at the moon.🌙 Me

Song!!! This is my Joshua’s favorite song and I love it too. Check it out. The lyrics are really good. I’ll post them below, but don’t just read, go feel it.

Take Aim by Sleep Token


Wait, won't you wait for me?Don't you bathe in rivers?Don't you feel alive?
And when I see you waking upAnd it sends me shiversHow you love like weapons kill
So take aimAt me for onceJust take aimBreak me apart
Call, won't you call out my nameLike a curse on this world?Like a battle cry?
Oh, and you make me hate myselfMake me tear my bodyMake me yearn for your embrace
So take aimAt me for onceJust take aimBreak me apart, love
Oh, won't you?And you know I'll be yoursWhen the moment is perfectI will fire and forget 'til we both lay brokenAnd you know I'll be yoursJust want to be worth itI will run like the wind 'til you follow me again

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