That Girl

 The irony in the title of my last post is not lost on me. We lost my Juliette. The emotional support dog with severe anxiety. That too is ironic. She was pure love. Even as she was passing she kissed us.  She loved hard and we loved her hard too. She also loved food, seriously, I’ve never seen anything as happy as her when she knew it was time to eat. We made her food. Turkey, tuna, brown rice, sweet potato, peas and carrots and large pieces of broccoli. She loved broccoli! She loved snacks and fruit. She loved the bunnies on our island. She loved the spot on her back, down by her tail, to be scratched. She lived to hear her own name and all the variations… Ju, ju-ju bear, juber goober, jules, Julie and of course Juliette Mama’s girl. She loved to be asked “Who’s the bestest girl? Huh, who is she?” She’d get excited and make you pet her. She loved clean bedding. If her bedding was gone she’d wait knowing that fresh bedding was coming and we’d put it in the dryer first because...

 Ok, I have so many like really deep conversations that I’m just gonna get out of my system with you all. You good with that? Cool… I’m 57 years old and I realize that it’s way too late to be going through a midlife crisis but I am! I’m like,” I hope they come out with that third season pretty soon do I can see it before I die” I’ve decided that I probably have 10 good years left. TEN YEARS. It keeps me up at night! Yes it’s odd. I know this.  I go through this list of things I want to do and places I want to go and will I know my grandkids and WHERE THE FUCK did the time go? If I could go back to…. I don’t know, let’s say 1982 I’d fucking go! Then I think well, I for sure skip getting pregnant. I know exactly when it happened but if I did that then the things that followed wouldn’t have happened and I LOVE that I wasn’t a goody two shoes. Love that I took risks and did some crazy shit and lived abs guess what? I’ve never been afraid to tell my family about that stuff. Do I ha...

 So we stopped speaking, obviously. There are things said that you can’t take back. Things that leave the deepest scars. I can’t forget those things. I carry them with me. They’re in a file in my brain and they sit there burning a hole in my heart. They take away my ability to trust. They slowly pick away at my self esteem. I could literally list them off here. Decades of stinging comments.  I hate that. I’m working on that.  A few weeks later I get a message from him saying that he doesn’t know if I want to know but he wanted to tell me before I heard it from someone else ( who would that be?) that he’d had a heart attack ( he didn’t. He had angina) anyway, I told him that he could contact me with updates, which he did. The conversations were weird. They were cold and short. That went on for a couple of months. Then one night he called and apologized, a legitimate and heartfelt apology. It’s long so I’m gonna skip it all. I apologized for my land mine moment. I’ve ever O...

 Robb…. What he did, in my opinion, is really walking a razors edge of something morally questionable. Nothing illegal but that’s not really where the razors edge always lies. So, I had ZERO knowledge of this. Supposedly we tell each other everything. It’s easy to do when there are no repercussions. He’s a trained therapist so you know, it works for me. Now, I don’t mean that I tell EVERYTHING but pretty damn close.  Things had been “off” between us like we found ourselves bickering a lot. Which is weird in a friendship. I’m always bouncing things off of him about Christianity and the things I feel that don’t add up and how it’s downright embarrassing to even claim to be a Christian right now, in my personal opinion. I’ll get into all of that in another really deep diving post I have coming up. Now, historically he finds these conversations interesting he likes to dig in with me and think about the different topics , we like to question and throw answers at the wall to see wha...

 I wrote an entire post about Robb but it turned out to sound….. very harsh, so I’ll try it again… and harsh might just be the way it stays. It was a harsh situation. It was me being hurt and I think we’ve all learned at least one thing about me by now, 23 years worth of blogs, I insist on feeling safe with you, no the general YOU you, but the you you are if I’m close to you.  Wow, that was a crazy train of thought right there. I’m starting to agree with that whole autism thing….  Anyway! I want to know that you’ve got my back. You don’t lie to me…. I absolutely hate being lied to and especially the part where the liar thinks they’re so ingenious that you don’t know they’re lying. I always know the lie, I just mark it down in that score sheet I keep in my brain. I grew up with the greatest liar who ever lied. Now it’s like I’m a walking lie detector. I want to know that my “ enemy” is your enemy. I do the same. You don’t like Linda? I don’t like Linda either. She’s the wo...

 We’re gonna talk about this for just a second… fucking Kristy Noem postponing help looking for flood victims for three days because she thinks that FEMA…. The first letter standing for FEDERAL…. Thinks that FEMA shouldn’t help with emergencies, states should. 160 people still missing because of that cunt. The good news? Mexico sent its agency to come help…. I need you to let that sink in…. On the other hand….. I guess this is what Texans voted for. So maybe it’s the FIND OUT phase…  Next!!! Ok, so as you guys know last Wednesday at the spa was a bust. They hand out passes for weather interference so not a biggy but can I tell you, I heard a man screaming at an employee because he and his wife were there for their anniversary and it’s bullshit that he’d paid over $200 to be there. Personally, I would have let him get into a pool in the lightening… I mean, he did pay for that day…. 🤫 Went out to dinner Thursday to my fave place and had a cocktail or two. Nice and relaxing. The...

 Josh and I had gone to the wo-rld Spr-ings last Wednesday. A storm came in and we had to take cover under shelter which included the locker rooms and the lobby. Naturally Josh and I weren’t going to separate so we went to the lobby with 150 other people, towels lined the floor, meals were being served so we sat that for three hours having a picnic with 148 new friends. We eventually called an Uber and left. There was no rain in the forecast but then again for the last couple of months we’ve had tornadoes and terrible storms we had no warning of because that’s what happens when you have a president who fires meteorologist, scientists and cut the national weather service budget. Here in Texas we’ve been hearing that hurricane season will be a “You’re on your own” situation because of the cuts which include weather balloons that track storm systems. Yesterday Trump’s media adviser said, at a news conference when asked if this causes concern in Trump for these and FEMA cuts,  tha...

 I have so many things that I need to write about. It’s taking over my brain HOWEVER! Someone asked me a question and my answer is kind of devious which, I find funny so I’m gonna answer it. Don’t have time to think of a song tonight so play one for me… The question is “ What is your best life advice?” Ok, here it is!! NEVER EVER get into a situation where there is a secret and YOU are the ONLY one who benefits by it. Like say you stole money and someone knows you did. That is someone you need to kill… I mean, you know, hypothetically…. If the other person, or GOD FORBID, other people, do not stand to lose as much, if not more than you,  then you are fucked. This is why you should never ever go drinking and settle into that “ OMG! I love you! I can tell you anything!” Phase. That’s when you need to either start talking about anything else in the whole world, zoos… trees…. Fishing…. But never ever about your secret because now they own you. Kiss your safety goodbye. You have no...