Life…. it’s hard sometimes..

 Got a call last night from one of my very best friends.

Let me tell you about her first, I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned her on here before. Her name is Heather. We met when I was 22 and she was 18. Her and Chad worked together at a hotel downtown. She was in his friend group and he moved in with me when I bought my house. Before that he and I lived at the old guys house. Old guy’s son Darrin moved in with me too. 

She came with the package. Beautiful curly brown hair, freckles, the greenest eyes you’ve ever seen. She’d “dated” Chad.  ( hard for me to not call him by his last name because that’s what he always went by but we don’t need snoopy snoops snooping him up!) I met her the night she called the house at 2am to ask Chad to bail her out of jail. Everyone knew that Chad and I had a “thing” but it was so informal that we didn’t even share a bedroom. It was great. My heart had taken a beating and this was warm and cozy. No stress. No expectations. No unrequited love, no love at all. Every woman in our friend group wanted him. I wasn’t bothered in the least. Heather and I became best friends. She was not just physically one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen but her heart was pure gold. There was never any weirdness about Chad. Everyone was just chill. 

After Chad and Darrin moved out Heather moved in. Our whole friend group revolved around softball and darts and clubs ( Heather had a fake ID) we went to this club called Swackhammers, we were there so often that the owner, when they were building a new addition, would give the like, 13 of us, tours at every step of the way. They had a statue in the woman’s bathroom that was of a man with a fig leaf. If you lifted the leaf an alarm would go off in the bar, we saw that first, before any customers. Also late night card games, smoke a little, get the giggles, everyone would congregate on my stairs that led to the basement… why? So we wouldn’t wake up my son, we loved the talks we had all squeezed in shoulder to shoulder. Sex, music, love, the future, life, and goofy silly little things. 

We were tight. Heather and I were tight. When shit went down with William and my shell cracked in half, I tried to kill myself she dragged a mattress into our living room so we could eat, sleep, cry, together until I could get into the hospital. She’d give me my medication. She hated him more than I did and she’d tell him on the daily. 10 years ago she told me that he was talking shit on his Facebook page and she fucking ripped into him. Then he came to my page and told me, in front of everybody I ever knew, that I was the weakest person he’d ever met, I lived in Texas but she lived there and, well, I’m not gonna throw her under the bus but she fucked his world up. Went in on his wife and dragged him to hell and back. May have left some damage to his property and job. She will hate your enemy more than you hate them and in this case, that was pretty fucking hard to do. I verbally beat the shit out of him but she was always like, ok, tap me in!😂She will fight to the death for you. I’d never had anyone like that in my life. Well, except for Cheryl.  But Cheryl lived in New York when shit originally hit the fan and those two women didn’t mesh well anyway..

 When she got pregnant by her boyfriend and he dumped her for another girl, I took her to the hospital when she agonized over the choice she felt that she had to make. I dragged the mattress into our living room and we cried and listened to music and talked until she could dance again. I found his car…. Maybe left it with less air in its tires… maybe…

She’s your angel and the devil you don’t want to fuck with. Did I mention how beautiful she is? She’s a Scottish warrior princess. We are fighters. 

And here we are. You know the basics. Loyal as hell, funny, loving, protective, strong, Beautiful in every measurable way.

She called to tell me that unless she can get a double lung transplant she has less than a year to live. My heart stopped. What would a world without My Heather even look like? I could call her today and tell her that I need to leave my husband and she’d take me in without blinking. If I need someone killed, well……😇😈 And I’d do the same for her. We often just text to say “ Hey, Babe, I love you”

She’s scared. I’ve never seen her scared. I’m scared. I wish I could beat this disease into oblivion. Set it on fire and roast marshmallows over its dead body. 

I can’t lose her. I wish we could drag out a mattress, talk shit, rage, cry, and make it all better……..But I can’t. 

Night luvs, see you in the moon feel me in the warmth…..

Song: I Am Woman: Emmie Meli 

Mr

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