Started this a few days ago and forgot!

 I’ve been going to all the doctors appointments in the world. Got a result showing that my kidneys are failing, which turns out to be probably not accurate so I’ve gone in twice for new blood tests and then I went in for a chest x-ray. All trying to get released for surgery. I have to go to a cardiologist and an endocrinologist. All this trying to Jane it in the three weeks. That’s crazy!

I’m getting my nails done today and for thanksgiving we’re going to Brio which we do every year. Our Christmas is a little messed up this year because the ICE show at the Gaylord isn’t one we want to see so I think we will be going to the Springs. It will be fun in the cold! Then the restaurant we go to at the Gaylord for Christmas isn’t having dinner this year, only a brunch. That doesn’t work for us so we’ll be going there for dinner on Christmas Eve, we usually got to The Cheesecake Factory but we’ve finally admitted that  we don’t like it there!! Then on Christmas we’ll be going to Del Frusco’s which is delicious!! Or!!! There’s an Indian restaurant here in the island that we like…. So, we might go there.

I was watching this beautiful 88 yr old woman who was dressed really well and modern. She was good! The guy interviewing her asked what she would say to her younger self if she could and she replied “ Dint be too cautious. I was too cautious “ and that struck me astoundingly accurate. However, for me, I can say that for the most part, I was not cautious. I took risks, fell in love hard, danced like no one was watching, partook of plenty of things, wasn’t afraid, was bold and brave and excited by life. It wasn’t always good but even then, I’d done it and I have the stories. I have the experience and it shaped me into someone who is still unabashedly bold and not afraid of what people think. I am quirky and a little strange and am who I want to be and dress like and talk like and express myself. I like me. I like the young me and if I could speak to her I’d say… Never ever feel like you aren’t a catch. Never do anything you’ll regret later, you can not keep a baby and you can keep a baby but it’s up to you and nobody else. And keep dancing! You are beautiful and funny and invaluable and the only one of you in the entire world. Never feel small. Always turn heads when you enter a room. Be unstoppable. Stay remarkable. Take what you want, who you want, when you want. The very worst thing that can happen is you’ll be told , no. And do what? No does not break us. No, gives us courage and you are courageous, my luv. Go make this world your bitch, kid! 

And I’d say that to me now as well. Boring, repetitive, comfortable, is not where you belong. Do the things! All the things! And fuck em if they can’t take a joke!


What would you say to younger you? Let me hear it or see it or feel it? Maybe I’ll post some answers.


Song for everyone with daddy issues. Thankfully I was able to get mine worked through but here you go:

Addict with a Pen: Twenty One Pilots

See you in the moon

Me



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