Forever and a Day

 …… Here I am. In my last blog I hadn’t started ( listen if you're a person with a weak stomach then you need to skip further down because I’m about to get real REAL. Because women’s bodies can be pretty fucked up, ok. Like if you’re a dude in pain right now just STFU, because vaginas are basically ridiculous!)

Let’s start down here… I hadn’t started crying from the pain of peeing straight up, undiluted blood with some kick ass clots and…. Bloody skin from…. I mean, my bladder? My urethra? And a weak later it’s still happening and I’m actually scared when I have to pee. So there. How’s that for some honesty, huh? Ya. 

I saw my primary doctor and we did a urine test and guess what?! There’s blood in my urine? WTF?! Are you pulling my chain? I mean, I didn’t just fucking tell you that or anything….. Lord, just five fucking minutes of decent health, ok? OK?! And please help my doctor to access some more brain cells because she isn’t even funny and dumb with no sense of humor is like having a gold fish who prescribes medication . Xoxo, you’re favorite quirky person. Me, Tracy.

Oh shit! I have AirPods in and apparently missed a whole as tornado alarm. Oops. 

Anyway, got some questions that I’m gonna answer…

1) do you think your brain “ misfiring” was your near death experience? Well, shit, I’d hope not because there was zero warm love, light and peace part. No, it was my brain starving for oxygen. It was just throwing random shit against the fridge to see what would stick. 

2) I’ve always thought that if I were dying I’d go through a grief period, maybe see my life flashing before my eyes and getting in one last Hail Mary prayer.

Ya!! Me too!! But, I didn’t feel any of that. I mean, my life flashing part was me seeing my student die, but I was HER, and believing that I was under a pile of falling 2x4’s. They make sense to me but still, just a misfire. I didn’t think “ Oh Shit! I hope I chose the right team! I didn’t think about my family, because I wasn’t “ thinking” so, maybe if you aren’t suffocating within 30 seconds then you get more time to dissect the things I had a nurse tell me once that she’d died on the side of the road and she felt like she was in a field full of flowers and she didn’t even think about her children.” I do wish my brain could have misfired some flowers! 

3) Did you ever hear from your kids? No but one was going to call but she was “ Going through some shit” Yes, Girl, I know how that feels🥴

4) I’m glad you’re still here.

 Thank you. 


I’m gonna go. Song….Taste by Sabrina Carpenter… proves that I was born at the right time where I couldn’t drunk tweet something stupid on the internet! 😂 speaking of twitter I deleted mine over a year ago and haven’t missed it even once! 

Miss Ya, Boy

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