That Girl

 You never really know. I’m chatty so while I hope to wrap up this crisis of faith today, we’ll see…. Real quick trip back to Paganism…. Also, witchcraft….Back in the day…. Like WAY WAY back in the day there were people who practiced magic. In fact there’s a lot of people who still do and even call themselves witches. Now, let me clarify, no actual “witch” was killed in the witch hunts. The people who were killed were healers, midwives, scientists who studied alchemy and had the first of the modern apothecaries in “modern times.” The former is still used today in modern chemistry and psychology. The latter still used and integrated into modern medicine. Those practices and some ancient Egyptian spells for everything from luck to death were incorporated in some darker sects of paganism and Wicca. They wrote books about their beliefs and spells. Those are called Grimoires and they are still around to this day. Ok, phew, all that to say that catholicism had a real problem with this be...

  I hope you read all the things that Christians stole from Pagans. It’s an important part of my crisis. Next: finding out that literally thousands of religions, current and ancient have a “ flood” story in them. What confused me were the religions that were thousand of years older than Christianity had not only a flood story but also a VIRGIN BIRTH story. So, ok, that many religious agree on a flood story, just not necessarily in the same time frame. Even science has discovered proof of a massive flood. So, I’m good with that…. But the virgin birth story seems a little…. Odd. It’s not like they are all talking about Mary, but someone representing their religion. So just a few are Christianity and Islam. But also  Hinduism, ancient Egyptians,   Greek mythology, Aztec Mythology,Mongolian legends,  Native American traditions and Japanese folklore and that’s literally just a few out of hundreds. So I wondered…. Was that stolen from ancient religions? Worshipping Mary… P...

 This is ultimately going to be cut way back from my initial idea for this post. For one, I don’t need to make this my thesis. It’s just us guys hanging out. Two, I don’t have the physical or mental capacity to dig a hole to China with all the facts… which means that I’m not even going to put specific scripture. You can look them up if you want to go down a rabbit hole but I’m gonna try and knock this out in a reasonable amount of time and it’s just not possible to do from inside the rabbit hole. So, remember that I was skeptical of the fact that no pastor would veer off into the “ You know what? I don’t know the answer to that.” Which I was desperately looking for…. HONESTY. Not some Post It Note bullshit they’d been taught to wiggle out of the hard questions. It made me feel like they were A) liars B) too egotistical to admit they didn’t know C) treated people as if they were so stupid that they’d just swallow some bullshit excuse for why the BIBLE refers to more than one God. P...

 I feel like I might be tuning a corner!!!! I, being a medical professional in my own mind, started just taking a shot of Fireball when I couldn’t get a grip on the cough. Now don’t go taking advice from a stranger in the internet tubes, but it helped me sleep and I needed the sleep. I even put a little airplane sized bottle next to my bed for just in case and, I think it’s been working some cinnamon magic. Next month I’ll figure out what to do about being an alcoholic. 1 out of 12 steps at a time…. Am I right? Of course I’m not right! Fuck that shit! I have an appointment today with my orthopedic surgeon to talk about surgery on my knees. Man, being a kid in the country did some damage on those guys. This appointment is really the last on my list of importance but it came up first. Hey! I qualified for ketamine and I’ve hit my out of pocket for the year so, I mean, you bring the fireball and I’ll bring the existential crisis! Actually, I’m not allowed to keep it in my home. The do...

 To the hospital and I’m less than thrilled but while I’m talking about it I want to give some little known hospital tricks… 1) If you’re going to the ER have a bag packed. I put an outfit to leave in, sports bras( come on now, you want your breasts to be where god put them) chargers, your own blanket… 2) Take a shower and DO YOUR MAKEUP if you think it’s possible that you’ll be admitted. Now, if you’re using a good primer and setting spray you can get a couple of solid days out of your makeup. Hit the eyes with liner and mascara HARD. 3) I got my nails done, come on now! Look at some of the patients these people have to look at. Do better. 4) if you end up being admitted with no prior notice, well I’m Here for you, baby. a) you take a shower in the hospital and you have no product for your hair…. Yes you do. You take a little of that lotion they’ve given you and rub some on your hands, you have short hair, give yourself some volume, long hair keep those fly aways in control, curly...

 My pneumonia has moved from my right lung to my left, I mean, that’s only fair right? I begged BEGGED my doctor not to admit me back into the hospital. She thinks I’ve become resistant to the third antibiotic I was on so, stoked about that. Now I’m on two more, I love that for me.  Under caution my husband allowed my YM to speak with me. It went well. We’ll see.  I’ve decided to jump onto the Hot Toddy party bus to help me from coughing up any vital organs. Living the dream, baby!!  Have not forgotten the crisis of faith thing but, as things can be, it’s a little fluid right now. Thought I’d landed in my little box but… while in the hospital I had this dream that would knock your socks off. Processing that. Could have been the heavy duty pain meds, might not have been…..And, I’m processing. I had great, I mean fantastic, nurses while I was inside. We talked about the weird shit they see and hear in the hospital and how every room has had multiple people die in them....